I am there again, in the nostalgia place that actually I don’t like.
Same place, same date, and same time…. everything still looks the same.
I do feel it was like that time, when I lost someone I do love.
Somehow, I want do the same as I did that time…. going on the stairs up and down, waiting on the waiting room, seeing you from the corridor….
I still remember exactly how it was going on….
I know that you are not there anymore…. I know that you have been gone….
I just want to see you for more…. What can I do?
All I can do is just pretending like I was in that time again and hope you were there again, so I can tell you how much I miss you dad….

Do you have something which is so precious to you that you can give your head off just for it?
It must be very very precious, right? And I have one….
I have something which I think the best invention ever made by human….
And we call it as “Camera”….

Why is it supposed to be a camera?
To me, camera is a magical thing that ever been made….
It can seize the lights and turn into memories….
It can capture every beauty in the world….
It can stop the time and makes that moment be eternal forever….
It can be my note and makes me remember every detail in a forgotten time….
It can be my time machine and brings me to the past, to the moment I never can feel for more….
It can be my magical spell and makes everyone I love lasts forever….
I feel like a wizard when I’m holding it….
That’s all the reasons why I do love my camera, and especially because it was given by you dad :)

Entah apa yang kurasa saat itu…. semua bercampur jadi satu, mungkin abu-abu.
Dari koridor ku lihat dirinya terbaring tak sadarkan diri.
Aku pun masuk seperti biasa berharap ia bangun dan memanggil namaku lagi, tak peduli apa kata orang lain.
Buku catatan miliknya sungguh buat ku luluh.
Sungguh saat itu aku harap semua hanya mimpi.

Detik-detik terakhirnya di sore itu, langit kelabu seakan tahu perasaanku.
Dirinya pergi meninggalkanku seusai suara adzan berlalu…. sungguh aku harap itu hanya mimpi.
Saat itu aku hanya bisa menggenggam tangannya erat, berharap alat berisik itu kembali berbunyi.
Namun tak ada perubahan terjadi…. mungkin memang sudah saatnya ia pergi.

Tapi mengapa harus saat itu?
Sungguh banyak kata yang belum tersampaikan bahkan salam yang belum terucap.
Ia bahkan mungkin tak tahu betapa berarti dirinya di mataku.
Aku sungguh menyesal tak sempat untuk mengungkapkan betapa aku mencintai dirinya entah dalam suka, bahkan dalam luka.
Mungkin selama ini aku seperti tak peduli padanya…. nyatanya, aku hanya tak pandai mengungkapkan apa yang ku rasa…. persis seperti dirinya….
Sungguh ku ingin kau tahu betapa berartinya dirimu…. dan betapa ku mencintaimu…..
Ayah….

Sampai jumpa di kehidupan yang lain….
Arief Haryono